Ok ok ok, due to high demand (Anna ^_^), I will provide a legitimate update. Also, my Shakespeare class got cancelled, so now I have a few hours before I leave for Columbus for the weekend. Yay!

First off, an important event. I thought to myself, do I want to start or end this post with something so heavy? I figured that even though what happened is sobering, it's also a cause for celebration, so I will start this post off by telling you. My friend Gabriel died last Saturday morning around 3:30am. His family discovered that he had a brain tumor sometime last summer and it was too massive and in too delicate of an area to operate on . His doctor told him that he had only a few weeks, perhaps a month or two, to live, and ever since then he's been on steroids and radiation (I don't think he had chemotherapy). But more and more months passed and he was still with us, and his mother prayed that he could live to celebrate his 14th birthday, which he did, on December 30th. Miraculously around this time he seemed to be getting better, and everyone thought that a miracle would happen any day now. But then his eyesight began to deteriorate, and then his speech, and eventually I think one half of his body was paralyzed.

My mother always kept me updated with Gabriel's status, but since she left for Taiwan in January, I hadn't really heard anything about him since then. So I went home last weekend with thoughts of Ben, my dad's steak, my own bed, shopping with Anna. On Saturday morning my dad came into my room and gave me a kiss on the cheek, like he normally does before he goes to work. Then he told me, "I wanted you to know, this morning Gabriel left us. He's gone back to the Lord." And then he left the room. This is my first experience with death. My grandfather, who I never really met, died when I was very little, but I only cried because I saw how much my mother was grieving. An old lady at church who my mother frequently visited died a few years later, but I didn't have any personal connection to her. Then at the end of high school, my friend Shawn's mother died. She was very active with our orchestra, but I still wasn't personally close to her. That's about it for my experiences with death. I admit I wasn't terribly close to Gabriel, but yet I was. When his mother first had him, I think she had some personal issues that she had to deal with in her life, so Gabriel, who might have been less than a year old at that point, came to live at our house for a few months. I got to change his diaper and feed him and put him to sleep, and he was essentially a younger brother that I never had. (Though we all know that David is my "real" younger brother ^_^) His mother was always very close to my mother, and over the years we frequently had them over for dinner. Plus, his mother has the same birthday as me, so for the past few years our two families have gone to Shogun to celebrate our birthdays. It was very difficult to see Gabriel turn from a rambunctious, sometimes bratty boy to essentially, a helpless child.

It's awful when terrible things like cancer and tumors happen to young children. You think, what did they and their families do to deserve such pain and hardship? His mother was single, and was already having trouble juggling work and her two children. Now she has to deal with a handicapped child? What about Raphael, his younger brother? How will he deal with losing his older brother, someone who he looked up to? But these aren't the thoughts that we should be thinking. I mentioned that Gabriel's death is also a cause for celebration, at least according to my beliefs. Christians view this life as temporary, just a phase we have to deal with before we go to heaven. We don't view diseases and illnesses as punishment; instead they are just signs that we have to rely on God even more, or else we will have died in vain, for nothing. When my dad told me the news, I cried because of the loss. But then I pictured Gabriel kickin' it with Jesus up in heaven, and I wasn't sad anymore. I had a particular dream a few months back, the only dream I've ever had that really moved me. In it, Gabriel, along with a bunch of other people, had to be taken up to heaven. He looked like he used to, before the medication and radiation. I was crying and trying to say goodbye to everyone that was leaving, and I told Gabriel to remember me when he went to heaven. He told me he would save me a seat :) And then he left. I think after that dream I finally felt at ease knowing what my fate would be.

Well, that's it. I apologize, this came out a lot heavier than I expected, and it wouldn't make sense to follow it up with my bumblings around from the weekend, so I guess I'll save my trips to Louisville, Cleveland and Columbus for the next post. Please also keep in mind that this is only my belief; I am not trying to preach to anyone. Death isn't something to be feared; I feel sorry for the people who spend their days worrying about the "dreaded" day they will be taken away. It is also not a reason to curse God, nor is it God's way of punishing people. All Christians know that they will die, whether young or old, painfully or without suffering; it is only a shame to die without Christ. Gabriel, you will be missed, but we will all be reunited in the future. :)

There were some present at that very time who told him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. And he answered them, "Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans, because they suffered in this way? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish." Luke 13:1-3