I dropped my VCD class. This sets me back yet another year in schooling (class of 2011?), yet I feel I have gained 5 years back to my life. Details to come soon.
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Alright, here goes. Basically, I lack time management skills, and I also do not prioritize my life well. I put work above school work (money clouds judgement very easily), and I started to put less and less energy into my school work until I just gave up and quit doing the assignments and going to class. I desperately wanted to prove to my teacher that I was capable of designing, but after going through days where I only had one or two hours to myself and barely any time to sleep, it just wasn't worth it for me anymore. I want to put all my effort into my graphic design, and there is no way I can do that with a full-time job. Why didn't I just cut back hours at work? Well, I thought about it, and right now it's the summer, and I kind of just want to work. I don't want to take an intensive summer course and break my back for 10 weeks straight, which I put up with for 6, yeesh. Plus it's really been aggravating my neck.

I don't know, maybe I'm just lazy. This class is certainly doable. If I was completely motivated, everything would have been fine. And I was motivated, 6 weeks ago. But more and more I find that doing life-related things are more rewarding. I found more pleasure doing laundry and washing dishes than even thinking about homework. And it's not that I don't like the projects, I came up with some really cool stuff for Intro to GD. But I think I would enjoy it more if I had, say, a few days to work on a project, rather than 24 hours. I think I just burned out really fast. I don't have the "everything's new" attitude of a freshman anymore.

So :sigh: I'm looking at five more years of college, rather than four. Maybe I should have just sucked it up for the next four weeks and saved myself a year of school. Yea... I regret this. I wish I had chosen to focus on schoolwork rather than my job, because when I graduate at 26, I'm going to wonder where my early- to mid-twenties went. But that's how life goes, I have to learn from my mistakes and try to make the best of it. Who knows, maybe things will work out great and I'll have a sweet internship or whatever while I am finishing my schooling. Who knows... but either way, I'm sad that this happened, but I am also very, very relieved.

When my teacher called to tell me that I should probably drop the class, I reacted pretty badly and ended up crying really hard. But I'm not sure it was entirely because of the news, I think I needed to let myself go after being on the edge for so long. What was really surprising was that when I told my mother, she dropped everything and drove 6 hours just to comfort me... I am so lucky to have a mother like that. I know that not many other parents would or could sacrifice so much time just to give their kids a hug. I wish there was some way I could repay her for everything that she's ever done for me. Yes, I went through the dumb teenage rebellious stage just like everyone else, but I still loved my mother even though I slammed the doors and gave her the cold shoulder. I hope that I'll be half the mother that she is for my children.

Aaaaanyway. So I am breathing more easily, and I am so happy that I have time to relax and hang out with people. Ashley comforted me by taking me to the Gap, and I have to say... their fall line is SO much more promising than spring. Their spring line was hideous!! But the fall line is vintage-inspired, and I don't think you can ever really go wrong with vintage. My mother, two of her friends (who came up as well) and I watched Hero, and we shopped around for some housewares that I needed. I bought these cool ice cube trays... hah it's really lame, but these ice cube trays have seriously been the highlight of my life recently. They have a silicone bottom, so all you have to do is press down on it and the ice cube pops out! I love it! =B Yea...

Tonight we all went downtown to watch Finding Neverland at a street theater type thing. Not a bad movie. Not great, it could have ended half an hour sooner than it did, but it wasn't bad. Anyway, what I want to say is that even though I'm not particularly in love with Kent, it's an interesting city to be in right now. I remember when Louisville finally got off its ass and started to renovate everything - the Waterfront, the Convention Center, the skate park, 4th Street Live - they did a pretty good job helping downtown become attractive again. I think Kent is starting that phase pretty soon; they are building a beautiful new library downtown, and are thinking of maybe bringing a skate park? Kent is definitely faaaar from where it could be, but it's fun to be in the middle of growth and transition.

Okay, I am out of things to talk about; I think when I start talking about the growth of cities, I should stop. I will be in Louisville from Aug 13-26, or sometime around there, and I think I'll be hitting up Chicago the week of the 21st. Hopefully now that I have more time, I can also get my video game website started before the end of the summer! Yay personal projects! But yea, don't mark your calendars yet.

Listening: Mark Ronson - Here Comes the Fuzz
Playing: Final Fantasy VII
Watching: South Park Season 4-6